OUT TO PASTOR: It was one of those naughty flings

Busy weeks seem quite the norm for me. When I think things have slowed down, I turn a corner and things speed up again. So it seems like I never really get a break.

This past week, for instance, was quite busy, and it was even busier because The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage was sick and could not go anywhere. Not even shopping!

It was Thursday when things began to catch up with me. By afternoon, I thought I had finished all my tasks and was on my way home. Then, I passed Publix and remembered I was to pick up something for the wife.

I turned around and went back, parked and went into the store. Then I remembered this store had free coffee, so I went and got a nice cup of hot coffee. I headed to the pharmaceutical area, where they had a couple of chairs snuggled back in the corner so nobody could see me.

On my way, I passed the bakery, and lo and behold; there were some fresh Apple Fritters. I have never seen Apple Fritters look so delicious in all my life. But, because of my strict diet, someone in our house has restricted this in my diet.

I looked at them, and I just felt them looking back. I could feel them smiling at me, and I must say, I tried to walk away. I really did try to walk away, but I could not.

Finally, out of desperation, I purchased two Apple Fritters. After all, nobody would know, and I could sit back in the corner and enjoy coffee and Apple Fritters. Who would ever know about this naughty fling of mine?

Then, out of the clear, I heard somebody say, “Hello, Pastor Snyder. I haven’t seen you in a while. How are you doing?”

Oh boy, my fling has been unflinged. This woman was one of my wife’s friends.

“I hope you’re enjoying your Apple Fritters. Tell your wife I said hello.”

At the time, I did not know how much trouble I was in. I just may forget she ever told me to say anything to my wife.

“Is that you?” I heard someone else say. “Is that you, Pastor Snyder?”

Once again, someone saw me.

“Haven’t seen you for a long time. I hope you’re doing well.”

I smiled back and said everything was going okay.

She smiled and said, “Enjoy your Apple Fritter; it looks very delicious. By the way, tell your wife I said hello.”

Two in a row has to be the limit. So, I sat back in the corner, sipped my coffee and took another bite of that delicious Apple Fritter. I was convinced that my incognito was well guarded at this time.

For my wife’s friends to catch me eating an Apple Fritter is quite dangerous.

I finished my Apple Fritters, got up, went out to my vehicle and started on my way home.

I went into the house, put the groceries on the table and headed for my easy chair. As I got to my chair, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage stepped in, greeted me and said, “Did you have a good day?”

One thing I know about my life is that she always asks “loaded questions.” I never know exactly what is behind any of these questions, so I need to tread very softly.

“Yes, my dear,” I said as cheerfully as I could muster at the time. “I think I had a good day even though it was rather busy.” So I flashed a smile back at her and thought it was over.

I got situated in my chair, and she came back into my room in a few moments and said, “Did you see any of my friends at Publix today?”

Now, I was on edge. No matter what I say at this point, I will be in trouble.

“Yes,” I said. Then I mentioned the two women I met at Publix. “They all asked me to tell you they were thinking about you.”

“Is that all they asked?”

Being a little nervous, I did not quite understand what was behind that question.

“We just greeted each other, and that was about it.”

She then left the room and went back to the kitchen, and I sighed a profound sigh of relief. I honestly believed that I had got away with it.

Then I heard her say, “Both ladies texted me and told me they saw you at Publix.”

The way my wife looked at me, I just knew she knew my secret. My problem was, how would she use this secret against me and when?

As I was pondering my current dilemma, I thought of one of my favorite scripture. Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”

I have faced many situations where I certainly needed God to direct me out of a problem.

Dr. James L. Snyder lives in Ocala, FL with the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. Telephone (352) 216-3025, e-mail jamessnyder51@gmail.com, website www.jamessnyderministries.com.