OUT TO PASTOR: Kitty on the outside or a tree frog on the inside

I thought, which is a dangerous activity for me, that I had pulled one over on the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. It is a rare occasion when I actually do something like this.

At my age, I assume I could get away with something. I guess I am just not old enough.

Several weeks ago, I happened to look out the back window and saw a kitty walking across our back yard. A little idea sneaked into my head. Maybe I could get some kitty treats and feed the kitty.

It is not that my wife does not like kitties; she just does not like them on our property. No way she would ever, and I mean ever, condone some kitty living on our property. However, my thought was, what if she does not know?

I have always heard that what your wife doesn’t know can’t hurt you. So, I put together a very sneaky plan.

I went and got a dish for the kitty as well as a bag of kitty food. I really thought I could pull this off.

On the back porch, I put the dish and filled it with kitty food. I pushed it to the side so that you could not see it from the window. I am not an expert when it comes to sneaky, I’m still an amateur.

Later that evening I happened to look out the window and there it was, feasting upon the food. I knew I had to take things slow. I did not want to scare off the kitty.

I kept this up for several days, quite proud of myself that I was not caught yet. I thought there was a chance I wouldn’t get caught and I was living on that chance.

It was on a Thursday evening and I was looking out the porch door, watching the kitty eat when I heard somebody say, “What are you staring at?”

Immediately I recognized the voice and had to be very careful so that I did not trip up on anything.

“I’m just enjoying the backyard scenery. It looks so lovely in the evening shadows.”

I sighed very deeply hoping I had escaped being found out.

Eventually I was getting to the point where I could open the door very carefully and the kitty would not get scared and run away. I was not able to pet it yet, but that was in my plans.

Then one night something else happened that pleased me deeply. A second kitty joined the back porch kitty diner.

Everything was going fine until one night the kitty came to the porch glass door and started meowing. The knucklehead that I am, I meowed back.

At that precise moment, my wife happened to walk into the kitchen area where the glass porch door was. She heard me meow and said, “There better not be a kitty on our porch!”

Before I could respond, she came up to the door and there was the kitty meowing at her.

“I don’t want any old cat on our back porch.”

I wanted to reply, but I didn’t.

“I hope you’re not feeding it!”

At that moment, she went up to the door to open it so that she could shoo the cat away and there on the inside of the door was the biggest tree frog I have ever seen. When she saw that, she screamed, the kitty ran and the frog jumped inside our house.

It has been a long time since I have seen the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage dancing.

It was all I could do from laughing hysterically. I tried to control it, but you know how that works. The more I tried to restrain my laughter the louder it got.

Where is my cell phone when I need it?

She ran, got a broom, came back and swept the frog outside. I haven’t seen that frog since.

So, being in a sense of hilarious insanity, I said, and I almost regret saying it, “Which do you want? The kitty or the frog?”

She looked at me holding her broom in a very dangerous way and finally she broke down laughing.

Life is full of choices. Some of our choices are not of our choosing. Sometimes it is choosing the better of the worse.

Since then we have had two kitties come to our back porch every evening to enjoy the kitty food that I put out there in the kitty dish. I have not seen the frog, but I sure have been thinking about that frog ever since.

“What are you smiling at?”

“Nothing, I’m just having a happy moment.”

“It better not have anything to do with that tree frog.”

Thinking about this I was reminded of what David said. “Blessed is the man whom thou choosest, and causest to approach unto thee, that he may dwell in thy courts: we shall be satisfied with the goodness of thy house, even of thy holy temple” (Psalm 65:4).

It is not important if you are a kitty or a frog only that God has chosen you. Live in that glory every day.