OUT TO PASTOR: Old deals, new wheels

For the past year, the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage has been looking for a new vehicle. When I say looking, I really mean, “Looking.” She leaves no stone unturned in her quest, especially for a new vehicle.

My only qualification for a new vehicle is; can I afford it and does it run.

However, not so with my wife. She spent the whole year researching every vehicle that caught her fancy. Just because it catches her fancy, does not mean that it latched onto her pocketbook.

For the past year, I have been going through the agony of listening to her complain about what is wrong with this one, and why don’t they fix this on that one. She knows more about vehicles than I will ever know. Believe me!

After a year of searching, she finally found one that met her credentials. I did not believe it at first. I know it takes something very special to really please her. For her to come home one evening and say, “I finally found the van I want,” was a shocking moment for me.

Do you know the thing that bothers me about this? It takes her over a year to find the vehicle she wants to buy, but it only took her five months to find the person she wanted to marry. I think that is rather strange, but Fm not going to delve into that in any degree.

Could it be that I’m much better than a vehicle? I think I’ll just leave it there.

I made a mistake once by going with her to a dealer to look at a vehicle. I was amazed to discover, well not too amazed, but she knew more about the vehicle on the lot than the salesman did.

After about 20 minutes of her describing all of the good and the bad of the vehicle, the salesman just looked at me and shook his head. No words were needed at that time.

Then for her to find a vehicle that satisfied her inquiries was quite the thing in and of itself.

When she found this particular vehicle, she was truly ecstatic. I really cannot blame her. After a year of searching, searching, and finding one and then discovering it was not what you wanted has to be a tiring experience; all the vehicles she rejected throughout the past year.

But the story is not over when she finds the vehicle she wants. It’s really just beginning.

The next step, of course, is to go to the salesman and bargain for a good price.

I do not think the salesmen know what they are up against when my wife comes in wanting to buy a certain vehicle. At first, they smile, imagining they have made an easy sale. Boy, are they in for a big surprise.

First, there has to be a trade-in price for her current vehicle. Trust me when I say, she knows just what it’s worth and will not take a dime less. The salesman, on the other hand, thinks he can use her trade-in as a bargaining chip. Is he going to be surprised!

After the trade-in is settled comes the price for the new vehicle. According to her research, my wife knows exactly how much that vehicle is worth. I would not be surprised that she knows more about it than the salesman.

At this point, I would not want to be that salesman. Under no circumstances, I could ever think of, is he going to win. The only thing he will win is selling that vehicle.

The next step is for her to drive the vehicle around to make sure everything is working. Nobody can do this better than she can. If up to me, if the engine starts, I am satisfied. If I can drive around the block, I am ecstatic.

Not so with the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. After her intense inspection and trial run, she will know everything about that vehicle.

My job, although not as important as hers, is to sign all the paperwork, including the bank loan.

For the past week, I heard what a great deal she got and how wonderful this new van is. And, she should know because she did all of the work.

I am certainly not complaining, because, with her expertise in this area, I do not have to try to find a van for her. As she was exploiting all the merits of this new van, I just smiled because she was happy. You know the saying about a happy wife.

As she was going on about her van, I could not help but think of what Solomon said. “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life” (Proverbs 31:10-12).

I may not be as wise as Solomon, but like him, I made the find of a lifetime.

Dr. James L. Snyder is pastor of the Family of God Fellowship, 1471 Pine Road, Ocala, FL 34472. He lives with his wife in Silver Springs Shores. Call him at 352-687-4240 or e-mail jamessnyder2@att.net. The church web site is www.whatafellowship.com.