OUT TO PASTOR: So what if I’m crazy?

The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and her wonderful husband celebrate 53 years of marital bliss this year.

It doesn’t seem possible that we have been married 53 years.

After all, we don’t look that old! At least she doesn’t.

It’s amazing how time flies; if you’re like me, you don’t even pay attention to it. Now that I’m just past the 70-year mark, things seem to be going faster than ever. I can wake up in the morning and it doesn’t take long for me to be ready to go back to bed.

I have come to understand that no matter how things change, they always remain the same. Just because my age has changed doesn’t mean anything else about me has changed. I am still the same person The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage married 53 years ago.

As far as I know, she hasn’t changed either. And I am unanimous in that.

Down through the years of our marital Showboat adventure, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage has often asked me, “What’s wrong with you? Are you crazy or what?”

That hasn’t changed since the beginning of our journey. I’ve been crazy from the beginning, and I still am, and I have no expectation of changing. If I’m going to change, I would like to know what she means by the phrase “or what?”

The only thing that hasn’t changed is my understanding of everything that The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage says. To this day, I do not know what her meaning of the word “crazy” is. When she asks me if I was crazy, I was not sure what she is asking. I just go along with her idea.

Looking back over my life, especially the 53 years of our marriage, I can see a few moments of me being crazy. But I don’t see anything wrong with being crazy. In fact, being crazy has been the real fun in my life.

I’m sure my definition of crazy and her definition of crazy do not share the same dining room table.

For one, crazy means that I don’t take things very seriously. That has been helpful over the years, and I can verify that. It helps me release stress.

Of course, I take many things in life seriously, but the ones that I don’t take seriously are important to me. That is the area of my crazy-itis.

The real difference between The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and me is that she takes everything seriously. I, on the other side of the room, don’t take everything seriously. Of course, there are sometimes, I must admit, I take the wrong thing not too seriously. That’s what really gets me into trouble.

I always think of the Abe Lincoln joke, where his wife asks him, “Does this dress make me look fat?”

To be serious about that question is a lifesaver. However, not to be serious about that question can get a person into deep trouble. 

I know – I’ve been there.

One time, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage bought a new dress, brought it home, put it on, and came out to where I was sitting and asked me, “What do you think about my new dress?”

I wasn’t too serious at the moment, so I looked up at her and said, “I don’t think I could wear that dress anywhere and get away with it.”

Before I even finished that sentence, I knew I was in trouble.

“What?” she said, “You think you can wear one of my dresses?”

Throughout the years of our marital bliss, I have often dug a hole so deep that I could not get out, yet I still kept digging.

I thought I was just joking, but she did not think it was a joke.

Looking at her, I laughed and said, “Oh, my dear, I was just joking.”

I thought I had gotten out of that hole, but was wrong.

“So,” she said sarcastically, “you think my dresses are jokes.”

It was at this level that I realized this wasn’t very funny. I may be crazy, but this was not the time to be crazy.

I have tried through the years to work on my crazyitis, but I don’t think I have worked hard enough because I have not seen any improvement on my side of the kitchen table.

My problem is that I don’t hear very well. Actually, I do hear; I just am not listening. And boy, is there a difference there.

Our 53-year marital journey has been great. I credit that success to one of my favorite verses in the Bible. Amos 3:3, “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?”

Throughout our journey, we have agreed on more things than we disagreed on. In fact, the longer we live together, the less we seem to disagree. That’s unity.

We are headed in the same direction although, sometimes I’m looking out the right window and she’s looking out her left window. The destination is what really matters. And that we totally agree on.

Dr. James L. Snyder lives in Ocala, FL with the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. Telephone is (352) 216-3025, e-mail is jamessnyder51@gmail.com, and website is www.jamessnyderministries.com