OUT TO PASTOR: When everything goes my way

I have had a certain dream many times over the years. The dream is that one day in the week; I can have everything go my way. The nightmare part of that dream is that it never tells me which day everything will go my way.

One morning I told the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage about my dream to see if she could give me any advice.

“Don’t you remember,” my wife said, “that day was three years ago? You already had that day when everything goes your way.”

That was as specific as she would get. She never would tell me which day it was that everything went my way. I am just a little bit suspicious about all of that. If I had a day where everything went my way, I certainly would have remembered it.

Last night, as we watched television, I seemed to be staring off into space. My wife said, “You’re not thinking about a day when everything goes your way, are you?”

“No,” I said, with a smile, “I’m just thinking about a joke.”

“Okay, what joke were you thinking of?”

Without thinking, I said, “Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7… 8… 9.”

“Will you ever get over that joke?” And we both laughed.

I think, of course, she knew I was not thinking of a joke. I was thinking of what the day would be like if everything went my way. I just could not get it out of my mind.

One of the first things that would be a part of that day would be every time my wife asked me a question; I would understand the question and give her an answer that satisfied her.

Once in a while, I will answer her, and she seems happy with the answer. But never two in a row. What would a day look like for me if every time my wife asked me a question, I answered, according to her specifications?

As I was thinking about this, another thought came to mind. What would a day look like when I could accomplish everything on my “To-Do-List” and have time left over for something else, like fun?

Thinking about that made me smile because I can’t ever think of the time when I had a day quite like that. Usually, I conclude a day thinking about the things I did not get to that day. That is what my day looks like.

The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage knew I was thinking along this line, and so she said most cheerfully, “What would a day look like for you if you never thought of an Apple fritter?”

Only she would come up with something like that. As far as I am concerned, that would be a terrible day. So, that’s scratched off.

Another thought grabbed my mind. What would a day look like if I could anticipate every question the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage would throw in my direction and have the answer on my tongue?

What would a day look like for me if I stopped and bought my wife a present before I came home? A gift that when I gave it to her, she would laugh and say, “I was just thinking about going and getting this for me. How did you think of this?”

The more I thought about this, the more I understood that if I had so many days where everything went my way, my life would become rather dull. It is the unexpected things in life that make life really exciting and challenging.

If I could plan everything out and do everything I planned, I would get so bored I would not know what to do.

Thinking about this, I thought, how in the world has the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage managed to do this every day of her life?

What would our house look like if both of us had everything go our way every day? How could we tell each other apart?

Maybe I could handle one day when everything goes my way, but I certainly do not want every day to be just like that.

As I thought about this, I was smiling, and my wife inquired why I was smiling. I finally confessed, “I’ve concluded that I don’t want every day to go my way. That would be so boring.”

“You know,” she said very seriously, “I think you’ve got something there.”

Therefore, our house is divided into two sections.

The one section is my wife, where everything goes her way, and I am happy.

The other section is me, where everything does not go my way, and my wife is happy.

I cannot believe that I discovered the formula for both of us being happy under the same roof. Why did it take me so long to figure this out?

I could not help but think of one of my favorite passages of Scripture. “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” (Amos 3:3).

In this, my wife and I are in full agreement.

Dr. James L. Snyder is pastor of the Family of God Fellowship, Ocala, FL 34472, where he lives with the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. Call him at 352-216-3025 or e-mail jamessnyder2@att.net. The church web site is www.whatafellowship.com.