OUT TO PASTOR: And that’s the way it was

I’ve lived long enough to realize that things usually go their own way. I may want something to go one way, but eventually, it all boils down to going the other way.

That is no more true than when The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and I travel somewhere.

We usually use her Sissy Van, so I give her the honor of driving. After all, I sure don’t want to drive a Sissy Van.

This month, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and Yours Truly will celebrate our 53rd year of marital bliss. I can’t believe we’ve been married that long, but that’s exactly what The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage told me. And she is never wrong – or at least, I never tell her when she is wrong.

Being married for 53 years is an accomplishment in today’s world. Most people aren’t married for 53 months.

If you’re going to be a successful Hollywood movie star, you have to be married and divorced at least five times. My wife and I could never qualify as Hollywood celebrities, and that’s just the way it is.

During our 53 years of marriage, I can’t remember any time we had a fight. We may have had one but I can’t remember it.

The only difficulties we’ve had have been with broccoli and Apple Fritters. She loves broccoli, and I love Apple Fritters, and the two shall never sit at the same dinner table.

Just before we married, I told her how much I loved Apple Fritters. So I asked her rather bluntly, “When we get married, will I be able to eat Apple Fritters?”

Looking at me with a smile, she said, “Oh, my dear. You can have an Apple Fritter every single day.”

It wasn’t until a couple of months ago that I reminded her of this.

“Don’t you remember,” I said, “that you said I could have an Apple Fritter every single day?”

Laughing, she looked at me and thoughtfully said, “How many single days have you had since you were married?”

It took me a little while to understand what she was saying.

After being married as long as I have, I understand you don’t always get everything you want. That’s just the way life works.

As a teenager, I thought I could get everything I wanted. After all, the commercial said, “You deserve a break today.”

Last month, I celebrated my 73rd birthday, and as I look back on my life, the one thing I’m grateful for is that I didn’t get everything I thought I deserved. Oh boy, what would my life be like today if that really happened?

I had just graduated high school at 18 and thought I could have anything and everything I wanted. Thinking about it, if I had everything today that I always wanted when I was 18, I would be in bad shape right now. I sure am glad I’m not 18. In fact, I’m really glad I am as old as I am.

Today, I wouldn’t have the energy to do what I was doing 50 years ago. I’m just glad I can do what I am doing now at this age.

The other night, while relaxing in the living room watching TV, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and I were reminiscing about our family. We started 53 years ago, when all we had was each other.

Now, after 53 years of being together, we have three children, nine grandchildren, and this year, we acquired three great-grandchildren.

Both of us sat back in our chairs, sighed deeply, and smiled. In reality, we had everything that we need.

I was sitting in my office the other day and looking around at all of my books. I must confess that I am a bookaholic. When I retired, we added an office to our house so I could accommodate all of my books.

So, with 15 children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren and around 8,500 books in my library, what else is there to enjoy in life?

The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage has a craft room at the other end of the house. Her craft room and my study are not very compatible except when she’s in her room, and I’m in mine. Oh, the wonderful sounds of silence.

As I get older, I’m beginning to appreciate what I have. I have some friends who are always bemoaning what they don’t have. I feel sorry for them, but I can’t relate to them.

I see what I have in front of me and I am one happy geezer.

While thinking about this, a verse of scripture came to mind. “When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things” (1 Corinthians 13:11 ).

Reflecting on my life there is nothing I can change. I’m not sure what I would change if I could. What I can do is focus on the present. I can change going forward by acting like an adult.

Dr. James L. Snyder lives in Ocala, FL with the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. Telephone is (352) 216-3025, e-mail is jamessnyder51@gmail.com, and website is www.jamessnyderministries.com